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field notes

Short, practical, and specific.

Real questions families search for at the hardest moments, organized around the three skills of the Steadier Ground Method: Notice, Read, and Reach, held up by Steady.

By Matt Field · Dementia Care Specialist · Caregiver Educator · Ordained Rabbi

Notice, catch what's happening in you
Read, find the message in the behavior
Reach, connect when words stop working

The three skills

A digital thermometer and a glass of water on a nightstand beside an unmade bed at daybreak
Notice

Is This Just Dementia Getting Worse, or Something Else?

Once there's a diagnosis, every new thing has an explanation waiting for it. That's what makes the changes that aren't decline so easy to miss.

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An older hand paused a moment before a brass doorknob
Notice

The Half-Second Before You React

Notice isn't only about watching for changes in someone else. Here's the faster, quieter range of the same skill: catching your own reaction before it decides what happens next.

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A kitchen clock repeated in fading copies across a sunlit table
Read

Why They Keep Asking the Same Question (and What to Say Instead)

Repeating the same question isn't a memory problem you can fix with a better answer. Here's what it's actually asking for.

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A wall calendar left open on a month long past, in a sunlit kitchen
Reach

Why Correcting Someone With Dementia Doesn't Work (and What to Say Instead)

Correction feels like honesty. For a person with dementia, it lands as an accusation. Here's what to do instead, and why it isn't dishonest.

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A hand setting a cup of tea down on a side table beside someone's chair
Reach

What to Do After You've Already Said the Wrong Thing

Most caregiving advice tells you what to do in the moment. This is for what comes after: how to repair once the hard moment has already happened.

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An open address book with a pencil, beside a landline phone on a kitchen counter
Reach

Who Needs to Know, and When

Deciding who to tell, and how much, isn't really about timing. It's about who still gets a say.

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Not a skill. The ground the other three stand on: what you bring into the room, and what these posts are about.
Two chairs against a wall in afternoon light, a knitted throw on one and the other bare
Steady

Grieving Someone Who Is Still Here

There's a grief that comes before any funeral, and most caregivers carry it without a name. A longer read on ambiguous loss, the thoughts nobody says aloud, and why closure was never the goal.

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Two hands braced on the edge of a kitchen sink with the tap running
Steady

When They Get Angry at You (and How to Stay Steady)

Being accused or snapped at by someone you're caring for is one of the hardest parts of dementia care. Here's why it happens, and how to stay steady without taking it personally.

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A mug of coffee gone cold beside a handwritten list at dusk
Steady

Caregiver Guilt and What It's Actually Telling You

Guilt feels like proof that you care. In dementia care, it's more often proof that you're running on empty. Here's how to read what it's actually telling you.

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Quick references

A weekly pill organizer with one compartment still full, beside a glass of water
Quick reference

Why Is This Happening? A Quick Reference

Behavior is communication. Four places to look when you can't tell what a hard moment is about, starting with the body, and what the behavior is most often saying.

Read the guide
Slippers on a rug beside a bed at night, with a lit doorway beyond
Quick reference

Sundowning: A Quick Reference

Increased confusion, agitation, or anxiety in the late afternoon and evening is common in dementia. Here's what it is, what helps, and what to say in the moment.

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An older sedan parked in a home driveway under autumn trees, seen from the front step in late sun
Quick reference

The Driving Conversation: A Quick Reference

Driving is usually the first major safety conversation a dementia diagnosis forces, and the one most likely to spark real conflict. Here's what helps.

Read the guide
A plain bedroom made familiar with a knitted throw and a framed photograph on the nightstand
Quick reference

Moving to Memory Care: A Quick Reference

The decision no family wants to make, made over weeks rather than in a moment. What memory care is, the signs the household has run out of windows, what helps, and what to say in the first weeks when they ask to go home.

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A tray with a bowl, a spoon and a lip balm on a bed, a folded blanket beside it in window light
Quick reference

Late-Stage Comfort: A Quick Reference

When the goal of care changes from managing the disease to keeping her comfortable. What comfort care means, when and how to call hospice, the eating question, and what you can still do with your own hands.

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More is coming

New posts arrive as the Steadier Ground Method grows. Start with the diagnosis guide in the meantime.

Read the guide